To My BFF

I have tried to stop thinking about the negative of last year, but I can't. I actually started blogging over 3 years ago. It was a simple blog called Mandy. I would post the crazy stuff that was happening. Shortly before my husband was laid off, I stopped blogging (January 2009). Lanie encouraged me to start blogging again. So I did. I forgot that I had given my dad my blog address years ago. Last year, my father decided to stop speaking to me again (he had done this before). I was a little relieved as he is a very unhappy, lonely and mean old man. I felt free. When I started blogging again, he was checking up on me, reading my blog to get information, and a little big of power just by knowing. I moved my blog over to WordPress. He went to Lanie's blog to find me. I only had four five followers at the time. Sad Old Man started commenting on my blog saying very unkind things. He tried signing in as all different users and nothing was working for him. I wouldn't approve his comments. He said some really hurtful things. I have worked my whole life to get past his digs, and I wouldn't let it get to me.

After a while, I decided to move back to Blogger. I find it easier to navigate. I felt like it was a good choice. From what I can tell, the man formerly known as my father has not been on this blog. He continues to get his digs in on me in other ways, but for some reason, hasn't bothered me here. I think the final straw for him was realizing that people aren't going to put up with his crap anymore in real life. Now he is completely alone with only his step-mother to commiserate with.

Why do I mention all of this? I don't know! I guess it's because I see people similar to him in the blog land. They take what they believe is truth and spread it around to hurt people when it is in fact, not the truth. It hurts the people I love, which ultimately hurts me.

Many times, Lanie has said that I saved her life. But in actuality, she saved mine. I was on the road to being exactly the same as my father. If I said it louder than anyone else, it must be true. My words were hurtful and unkind. Lanie showed me that people could have different views that weren't necessarily wrong. She also showed me that some of the things I was saying were just wrong! I am a better person because of her. We have known each other for almost 20 years. We were out of contact for a few years and were brought together by our pregnancies. We had our babies three days apart. She was a first time mother who leaned on me to help her through teething, fevers, etc. I leaned on her to help me be patient, understanding, and fair.

If Lanie has ever had a problem with me, or anything I do, she tells me. She doesn't hide behind some alias or do it anonymously. She lives by the same standards she holds others to. That is why she is my BFF. We don't always agree, but we are able to respect the views that the other holds. We do not live in the same town, or the same county, but we do live in the same state. It makes it convenient for us to go to birthday parties, have play dates, etc. If I am wrong, she will tell me. If you are wrong, she will tell you. If someone else is wrong, she will tell them, but she will not hide from her words.

I love you Lanie! You are the sister I always wanted!