To Auntie Mandy's Bad Choices That Make Her Feel Like She Has Eaten Rocks And That She Later Has To Poo Boulders!
Okay, so my choices have been really bad lately! REALLY bad! Ever since I had all that salami last week. So, Monday, I ran to the store real quick to get the boys lunch meat. While I was waiting at the deli counter FOREVER, I walked over to see if they had any hummus or fruit containers that I could eat on the way home. They did not. BUT, they had these ham wraps with cream cheese and cojack. I decided to get them for my husband. I can't even type what without laughing! Anyway, I got to the checkout and there was the Puerto Rican kid from my Spanish class who knows I don't eat meat because he brought in awesome tamales that I didn't even try because I read that chapter of 50 Ways To Sooth Yourself Without Food. So I said, "Hey! I'm buying meat! But it's not for me. No, not for me. I don't eat meat, remember?" He just looked at me really strange with those dreamy brown eyes. What is wrong with me? He is like 18! Anyfatty, I got out to my van and inhaled the wrap. It was on a whole wheat wrap. It was probably only half of one cut into 5 slices. OMG it was SOOOOOO yummy! They had all kinds of yummy herbs on it too, and a dark green leafy lettuce.
So I get home and everyone is happy about the meat that I brought them. About 15 minutes later, I feel like I'm gonna hurl. We were supposed to go to the nursing home for a church service and I thought I had the flu. I don't know why I didn't make the connection. I thought I even had a fever! So, we don't go. I go to bed and I was hurting really bad. I had these jagged rocks moving all through my torso. I tooted a few times and still didn't feel better.
The next morning, I got up and had actually lost weight. HA! That is a huge joke, too, because I know I had rocks in my bowels. I tried doing Walk-It-Out which usually does the trick. Nope. So my mom calls and says, "Let's do breadsticks!" Oh yeah! That will do it! Especially if I get nacho cheese (it's my cheese). It worked! So then I go to class last night. I know it's going to be a long night, so I go to the bookstore and get a bag of fresh veggies (good choice) and a Pepsi (bad choice). I eat and drink both in less than 5 minutes. Class gets out early because of the roads, even though I have another class after that lasts 2:45. So I go to the snack bar before they close for the night. This is afterall, my last chance to eat, and I could starve to death! So I get a soft pretzel, lightly salted. She says, "Cheese? Oh that's right, you are vegan." I said rather loudly, "So! What of it?" She just laughed in my face, which I thought was rather rude.
Then I crashed at my mom's last night. I felt miserable. This morning, I woke up at 3:00 with a headache. I had a really hard time falling back to sleep, especially after the dream I had, but that's a whole nother blog post. My tummy was hurting really bad again, like I was full of gas and water and air. Then I got up, did my Wii Fit and am down .8. WHAT? I'm still feeling lousy mind you.
I had a meeting this morning about the St. Baldrick's event. On the way, I figured I would get myself a soda. While I was in the gas station, I got a Pepsi and some ibuprofen. I also decided to get an apple fritter. I am obviously way out of control. I get to the meeting at a cute little cafe and get home fries and ...wait for it... BACON! I also had ANOTHER Pepsi! Then I came home and had a clementine and a piece of kiwi fruit. Hubby says, "I'm kinda hungry. Should we get the $2 breadstick and pop deal?" I say, "You betcha!" So I go, have breadsticks, with nacho cheese (my cheese) and ANOTHER soda!
So, SURPRISE! I feel like garbage! If I don't snap out of this eating frenzy, I'm going to have to change the name of my blog for SURE. I'm off to class!