Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My First Blog Post EVAH!

Since this is my 200th blog post (on this blog), I thought I would post my first blog post ever. This was back before I was so concerned with my weight and more concerned about what the heck I was going to do with these kids! So here it is!

Here's the story...Feel free to laugh! We were having problems with our cable internet, so I call Comcast to come to the house and check it out. The guy informs me that he has to go into the crawl space. The opening to the crawlspace is in the office room closet floor. There's a "door" that covers the hole, and a dresser on top of that with a box of stuff on top of that and another rolling cart in there with more boxes. So I move everything out of there. I run over my toe with the dresser and removed some of the skin. I was in pain, but because I'm tough, I didn't complain. Then the guy goes under the house and comes back out after he's done what he needs to do. In the meantime, I'm trying to clean my house because the in-laws are coming on Saturday (yesterday). I sign all the paperwork, and finish a few more things in the kitchen. I go into the office and the hole is still not covered. I really wanted to get that room put back together so I start by putting the door back over the hole. I push on it with my hands, and it seemed secure. Just to be sure, I put my foot in the middle of the door and with all of my weight, I push.

Let's just say that half of the door was secure. Two corners of the door (the top left and the lower right) were secure. When my foot went through, the top right corner flipped up and caught my pajamas (yes, I was wearing my pajama pants with the cable guy there, but I was wearing a bra and a regular top on top). I'm pretty sure that's the only thing that stopped me from getting hurt more than I did. My left foot was firmly planted on the floor while my right leg was dangling under the house. When I fell in, I heard all kinds of popping and grinding right before my head slammed into the closet wall.

I was in so much pain and I had no idea how I was going to get out of the floor. I ask Wesley (who was in the room at the time on the computer) to bring me the phone. He says, "Just a minute, Mom; I'm in the middle of a game." You've got to be freaking kidding me! So he finally brings me the phone as I am using my arms to pull myself out of the floor. I look at my ankle (always a bad idea! Don't look down! That's what I say to someone who is going for a mammogram, and now for someone who falls through the floor). My ankle bone looks really weird and is sticking out funny. I finish pulling myself out of the floor and I lay down on my back. Wes brings me the phone and I call my husband at work. I say, "I need you to come home now. I have hurt myself. I fell through the crawl space door. Get home fast." He says he'll be right home. While still laying on my back, I start to look around. I realize I am kinda trapped between the closet doors, a desk, a dresser, a tub, a pile of boxes and a rolling cart thingy. I had Wes bring me a pillow and I balanced it on the plastic lawn mower and rest my foot on it. I then had Wes bring me the ice pack. Just then, the phone rings. It's my husband. "Is there anyone else you can call? I have to leave early tomorrow night for my doctor's appt, and I don't want to leave early two days in a row. I hate to ask them to do that for me." WHAT???? So I call my cousin, and she's on her way to her yearly OBGYN appt and her mom is watching her two kids. How do I ask my aunt to come over to a house that is a virtual booby trap and then take me to the doc with 5 kids ages 6 months, 2, 4, 6, 8 (of course we would have to wait another hour for the 8 yo to get off the bus since he had a half day.

I call dh's boss. I say, "Hi, it's Mandy. Oh, okay, I guess. Um, listen, I just fell through my floor, well half of me did, and I am in a lot of pain, and I really need Joel to come home and help me get to the doctor. He didn't want to ask you, but I thought if you knew, you wouldn't want him sitting there, selling steal while my ankle goes from having two swollen marks, one the size of a golf ball and the other the size of a tennis ball turning into a big giant medicine ball....You'll send him home? GREAT! I knew I could count on you!"

Two minutes later, the phone rings, "I'm on my way home." Now, what do I do with the kids. I started scooting myself across the floor with the mower under the bad ankle and doing a crab walk with my other three limbs. I decide I'm going to go to the front porch and yell for my neighbor across the street so she can take Wes and get Logan off the bus. I was halfway to the couch (remember, it's an obstacle course) when I remembered the little girl across the street invited Wes and Logan to her birthday party. So I send Wes to find the princess invitation. He comes back with it. I call the neighbor, she is glad to help. I call my aunt and ask her if she would mind just adding one more to her day care roster. She says fine. Just then DH pulls in. Debee (neighbor across the street) comes to the driveway and asks dh if I want Barry (neighbor's husband like figure) to look at my ankle since he's a paramedic. I didn't care, I really thought I needed X-Rays, though. So I say sure. I finally get myself up to the couch. DH says, "Come here! Barry wants to look at your ankle." WHAT???? So I tell dh, "You're gonna have to help me." DH walks in and looks at my ankle and says, "That doesn't look good." (He's a smart one! I didn't just marry him for his car).

So I finally get towards the door to the garage, and Barry says, "I'm not going to look at it. I'm an EMT, not an X-ray machine." *eye-roll* I look down at my foot again and realize there is a HUGE tear in my pajamas. All I see is the cellulite on my thighs and my orange and pink striped panties. I decided to change my pants before we leave. I turned the laundry basket over and sat on that. Bad idea, it crumpled under my weight. So DH gets Gavin in the car, Wes is at the neighbor's and Logan will go over there after school. Two and a half hours later, my x-rays come back that NOTHING is broken. They give me some good drugs, crutches and an ankle brace and send me home.

I tell one of my friends in Indiana what happened, she says, "How much weight HAVE you gained? How OLD is your house???" So we get home and Logan says, "Did you fall down there?" Wes says, "She was like this, let me show you!" DH and I yell in unison, "GET AWAY FROM THE HOLE!" So, dh puts the room back together.

He cleaned all night Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to get the house looking the way he wanted it for his parents. I did my best to get the kids taken care of. Logan woke up Friday with a little cough and I kept him home so he could get Gavin and Wes on and off the bus. (Gavin gets on at 7:30, off at 10:50, Wes gets on at 11:05 and off at 2:20). Thank goodness the bus driver agreed to drop Wes at the house. She was already picking him up at the house.

I call my in-laws to tell them it's still okay to come out and my brother-in-law answers the phone (26). He says, "I'm tired. I just got done working all day." I say, "I'm tired, too. I know what you mean." He says, "Like you worked today." ****IDIOT**** I said, "I know you don't think I work because I don't get a paycheck, but I do work really hard. It doesn't seem that way since I'm so good at it!"

Anyway, I don't have a remote for the TV in my room (which is closest to the bathrooms since BOTH are at the furthest end of the house from everything else), I am watching CBS all day long. If anyone wants to know what's on the Price Is Right, Young and the Restless, Bold and the Beautiful, As the World Turns, Rachel Ray, Judge Judy, or Dr. Phil, let me know. That is, unless, my remote control doesn't go to school again.


  1. Omg Mandy, I hope you're not offended that this post had me cracking up envisioning it all, play by play! I know this is an old post but im glad you didn't break anything. What a trooper!

  2. Holy crap, you are tough. I would have been wringing a couple of necks that day - if I could. I'm kind of with Susie too, you did write this in a rather humourous way, but I could feel your pain.