My Crappy Weekend...

The weekend was really fun, but there was a lot of poop involved. Not human poop, but I will tell the stories. You have been warned.

My in-laws went out of town for the weekend. They asked if Hubby and I would take care of the animals. It's really not supposed to be that difficult. I agreed to stay at their house while Hubby stayed at our house. So, after a nice Mother's Day dinner on Friday night with my boys, I took Yankee with me to spend the night. I got there and first let the dogs out. I made sure the cats had water, and then went to check on the ducklings. The ducklings were out of food and water, and their bedding was soaked. So I put down some new bedding, fed and watered them, then went out to put the chickens to bed. All of the chickens were already in the coop, or so I thought.

I started counting the chickens and every time I counted them (they had already hatched) I only had nine. I called my mother-in-law and asked her if she was sure she had ten chickens. She was sure. Shoot. I locked the chickens I had in the coop and then walked all over the property looking for chicken remains. I had no idea what color chicken I was looking for, just that I needed a hen. After about a half hour of wandering, I went back to the coop to recount. When I got back there, there were only SEVEN! How did I lose two more chickens when they were locked up? I stuck my head back in the coop and counted. Still SEVEN. I hung my head and tried to figure out what this city girl was going to do next. Then I heard this sound that resembled "BwaaaAAAAAAAaaak" I looked up, and there were three chickens (one rooster and two hens) up on a bar that goes across the top of the coop. I counted again, and I had TEN! I counted again, and I had TEN! I counted one more time, and I still had TEN! Whew, what a relief. I called my mother-in-law back and told her the good news. She was happy. I was happy. We slept great.

Saturday morning, I got up, let the dogs out, gave them breakfast, let the chickens out, and then fed the ducks. Oh these are not normal ducks, these are pig ducks! What a mess they made! I had to get home to get take care of the kiddos so that Hubby could get to work. Once I got everyone dressed, we went back to my in-laws. I had to clean out the duck tub.

I had a brilliant idea, I would put the ducks in the shower while I cleaned out their tub. I got them all in a row, stuck them in the shower, then dragged the tub out to the woods to dump the bedding. I hosed everything out, washed everything else down and brought it back into the bathroom. I then put down new bedding and then chased the ducks around the shower to put them back. Haha! That wasn't so bad!

I decided then to do laundry. I walked into the laundry room and one of the cats had pooped between litter boxes. My in-laws are very frugal and don't have paper products (except toilet paper). BUT! I had gone to the store to get stuff for Yankee's birthday party we were having at the Y later that day. I went out to get napkins and cleaned up the poo. I put in a load of laundry. About 10 minutes later, I started smelling something really nasty. I went to the laundry room and a cat had liquid pooped all over the laundry room floor. Thank goodness for the napkins! I cleaned that poo up and we had to get to the Y for the party.

I had one RSVP for the birthday party, but 14 kids showed up. It was one hour in the gym, one hour in the pool, one hour in the activity room. The kids had a blast. Hubby showed up half-way through pool time, so I was able to set up the activity room for the party. Yankee and I stopped at Wal-Mart on the way back to the in-laws to get some food and spend his birthday money.

We got back and the pig-ducks had messed their tub again. It was nasty! So Hubby helped me clean it out. I put the ducks in the shower again while I washed everything else up. I put the tub back in the bathroom and the ducks had crapped all over the shower. It was so nasty! I chased the ducks all over the poopy shower, got them in their tub and then cleaned the poop out of the shower. Have I ever mentioned that I'm living the dream?

Now I am exhausted! Hubby says he'll get the chickens in. He comes into the house and says, "I got all but one in." Um, not acceptable! He chases down the stray hen and then leaves taking two kids and leaving me Dimples. I got him in bed by nine and tried to stay awake later. I wasn't being successful until Lucy, the black dog, kept whining in her sleep. I put her outside and waited for her to come back in. It took her a very long time to come back. Finally she is back in. I lay down and was asleep before my head hit the pillow. I get up the next morning and get ready for work. I go feed the pig-ducks, give them new bedding, let the chickens out of the coop, feed the dogs, feed the cats, and take Dimples home on my way to work.

My in-laws got home later that day. When I told them of all the poop stories, my father-in-law says, "Things like that never happen until we ask someone to watch the house. Then everyone's bowels loosen." Good to know!